confirmation

I get my own confirmation today. Everything does happen for a reason. Even though I said that I will be happy, the truth is, I will never.

But still, since I believe everything happen for a reason so I believe what happen to me is the best. God loves me for who I am, and don’t want me to suffer greatly so God cut the losses.

I would never dream what happen to me if this confirmation came all too late. I probably will shatter into pieces…no doubt about it. But since it happens now, when I am in my highest state of mind, I probably wouldn’t be too shattered. I believe I will get through it with my head up high. And for that I believe I should congratulate myself.

how well do you know yourself?

I keep repeating that question on my head ever since this morning. I was just found out something about myself. Turns out I am who I think I am… at least on the eyes of several person.

Sometimes I want to say “sr**w you…all of you”. But I can’t. I always try my best to fit in, in any kind of situation. Try my best to be likeable. Lately I feel that it is nearly impossible trying to do something to please most people if not everyone .

Call me naive or whatever, but that’s just how I am. I like to please everyone around me so then they would like me. Is it a wrong thing to do? Maybe. But again, that’s just how I am.

This morning I got a surprise from one of my best friend that said, people said some bad stuff about me. I mean, I am not a new comer when it comes to office gossips, but still it hurt listening that some peole thinking or worse, talking bad about you right? As for me, it will always feel hurt when you have someone badmouthing you .

I don’t like to have the feeling I am having right now. To tell you the truth, it is kinda like s**w with my head. Not a little…quite a lot I think.  Like I said, I would really like for people to like me. I will go around in a way if I think that’s what it takes so people would like me.

But maybe that’s the problem. I mean, you don’t have do anything you don’t have to to make people like you. Just be who you are. And you can’t expect all people to like you. People have all different kind of reason for liking other people and that goes for the opposite.

So maybe if I can accept that fact, I will not try to change myself so I can be whoever everyone wanted me to be. Just be myself. Try to love myself for who I am. Will not change anything so everybody would like me. I guess if I can be someone who love themselves then I really do know myself.

- womanizer or ladies man -

Do you ever have a friend that have this ‘aura’ about himself that is so strong that is often mistaken for womanizer? Well I do.

I have this friend that I have known almost all my adult life. He is a great friend of mine. He is basically just a good friend because he knew when to shut his mouth and listen or when his advice is needed. But mostly because he is just a fun person to be friend with.

I know that he occasionaly flirted (strike that…he often flirted with women ). But that’s it. Nothing beyond that. Just some light and heavy flirting. Because deep down I know he love his wife (ooh yeah baby…he already taken for quite some time,.. hehehe, but that never stopped him to do some flirting).

Lately, I am beginning to realize that there is quite many women that often take his flirting too seriously. Thinking he is nice to them because he like them and wanted to be more than friend with them.

I was talking to him today, and I told him about it. He asked me, “Is it wrong to be nice to people? I try to be nice to all. Where did I go wrong?.

I answered him, “Well, maybe because you have this ‘aura’ of such a gentle person, who is easy to talk to and a very good listener (basically an ideal man for most women) so women tends to find it easy to misinterpret your intention”

I said to him again, “I know you really don’t mean to do that, it is IN you and you can’t help it. I guess you can say that you are a born with a womanizer ‘aura” , though you really don’t have any intention to be a womanizer. You just born that way.”

But the funny thing about my friend is that, even though he born with the womanizer ‘aura’ *says me, that is*,  he sometimes,  if not most of the time, find it hard to express himself.

Not like all the womanizer or ladies man we know, who often try their damnedest to swept women off their feet, he is soo not like that. He never try to be romantic because he claimed that he is far from one. He rarely talk softly…. come to think of it, he rarely speak softly to me,…. almost never! …. hehehe …. maybe because he didn’t think that flirting with me will do him any good … hehehe. He said that he never hold hands with his wife (whom his girlfriend for 4 years, even when they were still going out).  He is dead set against PDA (ooh no, not a personal digital assistant, but public display of affection).  And he claimed himself as a shy person….. which is true, because he would never initiate a conversation with any girl that he just met.  And there’s still many thing about him that contradict with the fact that he is a born womanizer, but that’s what makes him unique.

Because I love all my friend – including him – I want to tell him this advice, if he is reading this blog (dont’ worry, I’ll make sure that he’ll read it…hehehehe) “Don’t ever think about what anybody said about you, because you know who you are. The people that really close to you know who you are…… So what if you broke many hearts along the way because the truth is, you can’t help it. It is IN you. Just be who you are. OK?

funny ‘friends’

Hmm…don’t get me wrong. What I mean by friend here is not really a friend, but kinda anyway. Since they have been our friend for our whole ten years from early 1990’s untill mid 2000’s. You know, TV Series “Friends”.

I just watched a Friends re-run last night. It’s an episode when Jennifer Aniston and Brad PItt was still a couple. Rumor has it, Brad played a guess star in that series because he looove his wife so much and want to be a part of what she does….*ahhh soo sweet*

Like you may already know, the audience of friends (in the studio) were always laughing or gigling or even doing some “oooohhh or aaahhhh or wooohoooo” whenever there was a guess star entered a scene.

There’s no difference when Brad appeared in front of Monica for thanksgiving, I mean…He wowed the audience and there’s like a woooohooo moment with all the cheering and shouting. But who can blame them? He is sooo gorgeous. A handome HUNK

The funny thing is the comment from the cast, like Chandler. When Brad (his name was Will) was introduced to him, he said, “I am sorry I was so engrossed with the TV, and I think it will be good for my ego if I don’t stand next to you”. Hahahahahahaha, it was hilarious. I mean, he realized that Brad would make him look bad if he stands next to him

Another funny comment comes from Phoebe. As you already may know, she is known with a very witty comment. When she was introduced to Brad, she was only took one glace at his direction, but the her face was glowing, then she gives two thumbs up to God and said, “Wow…, great job”. It was like the funniest look ever…hehehe.

Even though the series is long gone, but I still looooove watching its re-run. It was a great show, and it still doesn’t have an equal.

Salute to Mr. Cook – My American Idol

OMG, just finished watching his performance through the kindness of the great youtube and all I can say is that Mr Cook was VERY COOL and VERY AWESOME.

On the first round, he sang a Roberta Flack song, “The First Time Ever I saw Your Face”, and I feel like he was singing the song for me *yeah right, I wish*. He sang it so beautifully. His mom was standing while listening her son singing from the beginning up till the end.

At the first round all the song was chosen by the judges, and David is very lucky to get Mr. Cowell to chose a song for him. Simon says that it was one of the great song ever and he admits it is one of the toughest song to sing, but he believed that Mr. Cook will able to sing it. Guess what?…. HE DID…. Even Mr. Cowell say that the first round goes to Cook and Cowell since he wins the round.

For the second round he sang something, and I don’t really know what the tittle is. To tell you the truth I don’t really care. Coz I don’t really like what he sang in the second round and Mr. Cowell would back me up on that one . He said, it was an ok round for all the contestant and I couldn’t agree more.

Finally for the third round, he sang “I don’t want to miss a thing”, and all i can say is Ohh My God. That song would certainly gave him a free ticket to the finale. Again, Mr. Cowell was backing up my comment.

From here on, I believe he will be the 2008 American Idol. To Mr. Cook, here my salute to you.. please do keep up the good work.

bye bye mr. dreadlocked

Mr. Jason Castro got voted off this time around . I guess it’s his time anyway. He is not getting any better. At last night show, he forget some lines. It’s a big NO NO if you are going to last in the show.

He wasn’t one of my favorite, because I think he is the one who should leave before Mr. Johns. Ha ha ha, yes I am still thinking about that handsome Australian hunk. And I think that wasn’t his time to go yet, but what can’t I say.

As for the show goes, well they leave the best behind I think. And the season finale is only 2 weeks from now. I really hope either David Cook or David Archuletta who will be in the final. That will the MUST SEE SHOW of the YEAR!.  Just keep our fingers cross guys.

bye Mr. Johns, welcome Mr. Cook

Michael Johns, the handsome stud from down under that never have been on the bottom three at all during all this 7th season show suddenly get booted out after the Idol Gives Back show.

OMG, I can’t believe it. I mean, he is one of the reason for me to watch the show and suddenly there’s no him . Then the show seems to loose its spark — at least for me –.

I don’t know what is the reason for americans not to vote for that handsome hunk, but my big sister has her own theory. She said that Mr. Johns probably has already have a contract, ready to sign for a major record company that won’t wait for him to finish the show. I don’t know and to tell you the truth I don’t really care. All I care about is since then, I can’t see his major hunk face on TV again and it making me sad… hiks..hiks..

But then I saw another great HUNK, David Cook. OMG, when he sang Always be my baby from Mariah Carey, he made be believe that I am always gonna be his baby…hahahaha….don’t I wish…

Actually, I started to like him when he sang Billy Jean on the show. He wowed the judges and moi. OMG, his interpretation of the song (as Ms Abdul always say in the show) was remarkable. As for Mr. Cowell said that he shows a promising star quality that likes to take a chance. Well, thank you Mr. Cowell, I like him too.

Last night, after he sang, always be my baby and listen to all the judges praise, he was in tears. Just like i thought, a sensitif guy….hahaha… He was successfully winning my heart that had been broken when Mr. Johns got booted out.

From now on, he’ll be my man and I believe that he’ll win the American Idol 08. Mark my words.

if only i could

Lately, there are some structure changes in the company where I work. Late last year, the merger between JSX and SSX has been completed therefore we have to evolve accordingly. Based on that, I was moved to a new Division. I was kinda hoping that this restructuring would be a fresh start for me. But I guess it was asking too much, at least for me.

In all my professional years [no..it's not that long, it's around 10 years or so], I always have been the unfortunate because I always have a lady boss. How come I said that it’s unfortunate? Because mostly, lady boss always think with they heart. They are rarely objective [easy for all the lady boss out there, I am not saying that all lady boss is like that, it's purely based on my experience only...so if there's a lady boss that is a very good boss..just keep up the good work ..]

I was thinking to myself, is it just me or is it everyone else’s wish also? Then I have the answer to my silent question, and I found out that it’s probably everyone wishes to have the privilege to work under a great Boss. Even though the criteria of a great boss is really subjective, but I think we can agree to some basic personal traits that is required for someone to be a boss i.e. have to have a leadership traits, never subjective [at least always try to be objective towards his/her subordinate and colleagues], have a great knowledge of what he/she was doing etc, and so far, I’ve only been lucky to have been working for a great boss once.

If only I could, I would want to choose who is the person I will work for. I mean, how come the boss get to choose whom they work with without the consent of their subordinate?? hahaha..I guess that’s a stupid question. Of course it’s because they have privilege if not the money. But what I mean is, if they choose to have you as their subordinate, shouldn’t they treat you good?

If only I could, once I am a boss, I will think every step of my move with logic, well probably a little heart here and there, but never with heart all the way, because once you start think with your heart, you’ll think with it all the time. Then I promise you, it will do more harm than good.

If for now I only could dream that if one day I’ll be a good boss, for the time being, I will try to do my best as an employee or better yet, just be the better person I know. Start from there, hopefully everything will turn out good.

I HOPE……..

What if…

What if you could undo all the bad things that you do all of your life? What would you do? What would be the first thing you do?

As for me, if I have a chance to undo something bad that I’ve done, I’d like to undo my wrong doing to my husband. To erase all the heart ache I’ve caused him.

Why I would like to do that? Because of the things that he said after that ‘incident’. OMG, I’d rather have my heart cut out of me than to have to remember the sad hurt look on his eyes. I have reallyreally hurt him and I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

So that’s pretty much the reason why is the first thing I’d do if I given a chance to redeem my past mistake is that. I’ll give anything to turn the time, bu since I can’t, I am gonna try to be the best wife he knows. Amen…..

How about all of u guys? What would you do? What if you’re given the chance to redeem ur past mistakes?? Will u share it with me?

i hate starer.

U knows a person who stares. I think it’s not polite to stare to someone that you know and IT IS RUDE to stare to someone you doesn’t know.

For some reason, I know why people stare. Usually because the person that become the object of the stare must be really different either in a good way or the other way.

But for whatever reason, I think it’s not POLITE to STARE, especially if the person that you stare at is staring back and show that she didn’t like it. You should just BACK OFF and not keep STARING

I just have an experience of people staring at me. Yesterday. A man staring at me through a mirror on an elevator. When I caught him staring, I thought he would just turn his stare away. But NO….he keep staring at me and I was the one who looked away. That’s not right, a person who was caught staring is supposed to be the one who looked away

Well, I just hated when something like that happen. Do you guys have any suggestion about how you should do if someone stares at you excessively? Please do tell me. I want to know how to react if I am in the same position as I was before so I won’t get mad but get even?? Thank you kindly for your response.

To all the people who like to stare, STOP IT. You are making the people that you stare at very uncomfortable.