Archive for August, 2008

confirmation

Posted in soul searching on August 24, 2008 by Puti

I get my own confirmation today. Everything does happen for a reason. Even though I said that I will be happy, the truth is, I will never.

But still, since I believe everything happen for a reason so I believe what happen to me is the best. God loves me for who I am, and don’t want me to suffer greatly so God cut the losses.

I would never dream what happen to me if this confirmation came all too late. I probably will shatter into pieces…no doubt about it. But since it happens now, when I am in my highest state of mind, I probably wouldn’t be too shattered. I believe I will get through it with my head up high. And for that I believe I should congratulate myself.

how well do you know yourself?

Posted in soul searching on August 22, 2008 by Puti

I keep repeating that question on my head ever since this morning. I was just found out something about myself. Turns out I am who I think I am… at least on the eyes of several person.

Sometimes I want to say “sr**w you…all of you”. But I can’t. I always try my best to fit in, in any kind of situation. Try my best to be likeable. Lately I feel that it is nearly impossible trying to do something to please most people if not everyone :( .

Call me naive or whatever, but that’s just how I am. I like to please everyone around me so then they would like me. Is it a wrong thing to do? Maybe. But again, that’s just how I am.

This morning I got a surprise from one of my best friend that said, people said some bad stuff about me. I mean, I am not a new comer when it comes to office gossips, but still it hurt listening that some peole thinking or worse, talking bad about you right? As for me, it will always feel hurt when you have someone badmouthing you :( .

I don’t like to have the feeling I am having right now. To tell you the truth, it is kinda like s**w with my head. Not a little…quite a lot I think.  Like I said, I would really like for people to like me. I will go around in a way if I think that’s what it takes so people would like me.

But maybe that’s the problem. I mean, you don’t have do anything you don’t have to to make people like you. Just be who you are. And you can’t expect all people to like you. People have all different kind of reason for liking other people and that goes for the opposite.

So maybe if I can accept that fact, I will not try to change myself so I can be whoever everyone wanted me to be. Just be myself. Try to love myself for who I am. Will not change anything so everybody would like me. I guess if I can be someone who love themselves then I really do know myself.